The Horrors of Malformed Men (REVIEW)

The sales pitch for “The Horrors of Malformed Men” includes the factoid that it has been banned in Japan for nearly 40 years. I’ll admit to being a sucker for banned material but this claim is a bit misleading. You see, a little digging reveals that the ban was studio imposed. Toei decided that despite an absence of public outcry, it was only a matter of time before the film offended someone. There is no doubt that the movie features subject matter that might have been less than palatable for 1969 Japan.

Horror Headlines: Friday, January 27th, 2009

Eric Red's "100 Feet" starring Famke Janssen, will debut on April 26th at 9pm on the Scifi channel. My understanding is that they had hoped for a theatrical release on the film, so this has to be at least a little bit of a disappointment. It also sounds like in order to get it onto Scifi, there's going to have to be some trimming. The film follows Janssen, under house arrest for killing her husband, who finds herself haunted by his malevolent spirit.

I wouldn't go to this page if you don't want any spoilers, but needless to say, Summit Entertainment is already planning a sequel to their "Sorority Row" remake, which will be released October 2nd, 2009. Guess they've got confidence in the picture. I have liked what I've seen so far, so no shenanigans from me at this point.

"13B" is a Bollywood horror flick about a family whose television starts having an evil influence over them. There seems to be a lot of fawning over this film because of the novelty, but I'm not buying it. The picture of the guy screaming into his television on the poster kind of reminds me almost exactly of this shot of Jessica Alba from "The Eye". And let's face it, that comparison isn't helping anyone.

The script for another "Friday the 13th" remake is already being penned, by the same writers who wrote the first one. They're also saying that this won't be "sequel" but a "followup". Congratulations because that may be the most nonsensical thing I've ever read. They expound by saying "the new picture is expected to use elements of the original franchise more as a jumping-off point than as a template". Sweet, because I really loved the fact that Jason kidnaps and hunts people in the remake... oh wait...

After that story, I'm giving Rob Zombie's "Halloween 2" remake a pass today. It seems that a lot of Georgians are snapping set photos while Zombie and Co. are out there hard at work on the sequel. Check those out at the link.

And just to end on a lighter note today, here's some amazing transformation concept art from "The Wolfman", courtesy of effects man on the project Rick Baker. Now there's a story I can feel good about.

In Real People News: 

This teenager has inadvertently found a cure for lice. Of course, it involves accidentally setting your head on fire, so I understand that may be a deal-breaker for some. Another solution, don't get lice.

Russian man dies after taking an entire bottle of Viagara in order to have a sex romp for 12 hours with two women. You can't see it right now, but I just stood up at my desk and started clapping. I suggest you do the same.

Mexico seems to be in a state of complete and total drug war. So much so, the State Department has warned college students against visiting there on Spring Break this year. I'm sure they'll listen, after all, do you know anyone more rational than college students? (PS: get off my lawn!)

On this day in history: 

1859: Congressman Dan Sickles of New York shoots and kills Philip Barton Key, the son of Francis Scott Key (who wrote the Star Spangled Banner). The younger Key was having an affair with the congressman's wife. Sickles later pleads insanity and is acquitted.

Heroes 3.16 "Cold Wars"

Let me see if you have heard of this pattern before:

One of the super powered characters has a plan to get back at the group that is currently hunting them. They attack the hunters, but end up getting captured. Either Nathan Petrelli or H.R.G. persuades the hunters to go easy on the captured hero and then the hero escapes.

Sound familiar?

"Slaughter High" Disc Hits This April

I'm sure this news has been out for a while now, but I'm just finding it so I thought it would be a great time to remind you guys.

Onion Believes in our Warped Children

The other day I posted a blog about a study that linked violent video games to apathetic reactions to intense physical situations. Well, The Onion News Network must have been listening, because they have countered with the bold assertion that our overstimulated youth will be MORE prepared to deal with the most intense situation of all: The inevitable apocalypse.

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