Album Review: Church of Misery - "Thy Kingdom Scum"

We’ve been talking a lot lately about the revival in traditional metal and the rise of bands that embody the blues-doom spirit. Consequently, we’ve had the conversation about whether it’s fair to constantly make Black Sabbath the default analog for all these bands, or whether that’s simply the lazy way out. In the case of Church of Misery, we see a traditional doom band from Japan who has made it their sole career aspiration to be compared to Sabbath, openly idolizing the Birmingham legends and simultaneously declaring themselves “unworthy” of their metal gods.

Aftershock (REVIEW)

When I watched “Aftershock” by Nicolas Lopez I knew immediately after watching it how I felt. Much like the recent “Evil Dead” remake I went back and forth during the movie but once I left the theater it hit me like a residual aftershock: that was dumb. Pardon my lame and immature word, but it’s the first thought that came to my mind. In big boy words, “Aftershock” suffered from a genre identity crisis and ultimately created a pointless story full of empty character development.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 29th, 2013

My wife and I will be taking our first trip to Nashville this coming weekend and I can't wait. I'm going to look FABULOUS in my cut off daisy dukes.

If you didn't watch "Bates Motel" then I'm not really sure we'll have much to talk about when things get into a lull and I say, "hey did you hear about how the second season of 'Bates Motel' is going to feature a few more members of the Bates family according to the show's creator Carlton Cuse?". Then I'll probably get kind of pissy and say something about you looking fat and then we won't talk for a while. See how just watching the show could have avoided this whole thing?

We all went a little gaga over the "Evil Dead" remake on the podcast so I'm kind of looking forward to the Blu-Ray dropping so I can relive all the memories at home, minus the 8 year old crying 4 rows behind me. The disc will drop on July 16th and be chock full of behind the scenes features and a commentary track with everyone and their mother on it. It will not unfortunately feature a commentary track by the god awful parents trying to quiet the earlier mentioned 8 year old.

I never thought Steven Spielberg and the "Leprechaun" remake would be mentioned in the same sentence but color me wrong here. It turns out that Zach Lipovsky, the winner of Spielberg and Mark Burnett's "On the Lot" reality show will direct the Lionsgate/WWE reboot. I guess that doesn't really mean Speielberg has anything to do with the film so I can see why you might be annoyed by my misleading intro there. But on the other hand, you're a prick.

Melissa Leo, who is in no way related to Jay Leno and now that I see this typed out doesn't even have the same last name, has signed on to M. Night Shyamalan's "Wayward Pines". The TV series stars Matt Dillon as a secret service agent investigating the disappearance of two federal agents. Leo will play a nurse who lives in the town of Wayward Pines where Dillon is investigating. She doesn't even have a giant chin. I don't know what I was thinking.

In Real People News: 

California... wife... argument... bite... husband... penis.

A 45 year old special education teacher from Maryland has been accused of having sex with her dog. She's been accused because police found video and photos of her having sex with the dog. I'm 99% sure we can just go ahead and say she did it.

Album Review: Queensrÿche - Frequency Unknown

It would have been hard to imagine, not too long ago, that Queensrÿche would once again be one of the biggest stories in the world of metal. Their glory days were well behind them, and they settled comfortably into their place as a band that made new records to satisfy their creative itch, while spending most of their time on the road as a greatest hits package. It's a fate that befalls almost all bands who survive long enough, and even the forward thinking, progressive mindset the band possessed couldn't stop the audience from no longer wanting to hear new music.

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