Horror Headlines: Thursday, May 3rd, 2011

"We Are What We Are", the remake of a Mexican cannibal family flick, has added none other than Riley Keough to the cast. You might know her better as Elvis Presley's granddaughter. She's also been in a bunch of other movies and is apparently a model. But she'll aways be Elvis Presley's granddaughter that I found out existed 5 minutes ago to me.

Lionsgate has announced they hope to bring a new web series titled "Soul Survivor" to a laptop near you in the not too distant future. The series will focus an last of his kind mercenary who will be voiced by none other than Sylvester Stallone. Sounds kind of weird yes but remember when they made a Rambo cartoon? That was a lot weirder.

The sassy new Aussie flick "Crawl", which will premiere at Cannes, has been given an October release date for selected cities and VOD. The film tells the story of a bar owner who hires a Croatian hitman to murder someone only to have it backfire in his face. I assume there's also a lot of Bloomin Onions involved. Mother of god those things are good.

A handful of new names have been added to the cast list of "Beginning Of the End: The Last Exorcism 2" but honestly no one has ever heard of them so it's kind of silly to list them. So what are your plans for the weekend? Celebrating the Kentucky Derby or Cinco De Mayo? I know you could try doing a joint party but I kind of feel like you need to pick a side. Stand for something in your life god damn it! Kevin Perez, Boyana Balta, Sharice A. Williams and Gideon Hodge are the names.

In Real People News: 

A 19 year old in Pensylvania tried the old "it's not a big deal" excuse with the local cops after he posted pictures of his penis on his girlfriend's website. They didn't buy that excuse. Just an FYI.

A youngster in Florida is in hot water after he was caught on camera robbing an elderly woman at a local mall. How did he get caught? His parents ratted him out. Freakin Florida man. They have no code there.

Snapshot: "Chernobyl Diaries" (2012)

Oren Peli, creator of the "Paranormal Activity" super franchise, has written and produced yet another supernatural thriller due out later this month and from the looks of the trailers, it looks promising. Set in a found footage format, the film follows a group of six young tourists who, looking to go off the beaten path, hire an "extreme tour" guide. Ignoring warnings, he takes them into the city of Pripyat, the former home to the workers of the Chernobyl nuclear reactor, but a deserted town since the disaster more than 25 years ago.

A Conversation with Byron Davis, God Forbid

Still banging out original, old-school metalcore after more than fifteen years on the circuit, God Forbid continues to pound heavy on the hearts and minds of fans across the country. Fresh on the road with thrash legends and fellow Jersey-borne musicians Overkill, God Forbid is bringing their new album "Equilibrium" to the masses. Singular front man Byron Davis sat down with me to talk his band, the music industry, New Jersey and how Predator owns everyone.

Album Review: Oedipus - Vicious Little Smile

Fewer things test the patience of a rock or metal fan more than hearing the word 'pop' used to describe the music they love. Is it a stereotype? Yes, but not without merit. Rock and metal fans love their music for the power and aggression, the aspects that keep their favorite bands from breaking into the mainstream in almost every case. When they hear the word 'pop' come from a reviewer, or a press release, there's fear dripping from their pores. Pop music is for teenagers and people who never had the good taste to discover Led Zeppelin, not for tenured fans of 'real music'.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, May 2nd, 2011

Just for this week lets not call today "Hump Day". Let's call it "Turkish Piledriver" day. Trust me it's better.

Much to my surprise Cortney Palm is not the name of a porn star but apparently an actual actress who has done actual movies. She's been confirmed for the cast of the upcoming "Silent Night" remake. The killer Santa flick already has Jaime King, Malcolm McDowell and Jamie Kennedy on board so things are shaping up nicely. Seriously, last name Palm? That's fake, right?

"The Dead" is so hot with the kids right now and it looks like the cult hit has already scored itself a sequel Well alright it's not official yet. But there's a script. And everyone wants to make it. And they're going to make it. But it's not official.

If you're like me then you loved the show "Chuck" but lost interest around the second to last season and then saw that the show was ending and said things like "I should really catch up on that" and you never did. I'm sure there's a lot of you out there. So like me you're probably mildly happy to see Vik Sahay from the show joining the cast of the upcoming werewolf romp "Wer". Not happy about the movie or anything. Just happy to see the guy getting some work.

So Universal is going to remake "Van Helsing" with Tom Cruise? Because Hugh Jackman isn't.... well you know the rumors right? I mean about both of them. Not together or anything. Just in general. I mean all the Broadway crap. I don't know. You didn't hear it from me.

In Real People News: 

Making a sex tape with a 16 year old is awful. Making a sex tape with your biological son is also awful. Making a sex tape with your 16 year old biological son is something worse than awful but I can't think of any other words.

A 28 year old woman is under arrest after she cut off a man's genitals before stabbing him to death. Because stabbing someone to death isn't good enough. Ya got to cut some balls before ya stab!

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