Horror Headlines: Wednesday, April 4th, 2011

It's hump day! Get out ya jimmy hats.

Abigail Breslin, who stole our hearts in "Little Miss Sunshine" has officially been confirmed to be taking the lead in Vincenzo Natali's new flick "Haunter". The story revolves around a girl who dies tragically in the late 80's and reaches out from beyond the grave to help a family avoid the same fate. If she tripped over a Rubik's Cube or something and fell down the stairs, I think the coast is clear on a repeat.

Here's a good one. "Sucker" is a new flick from the gentleman who played Wyatt in the "Weird Science" TV series. That's not even a joke. What's the film about you might ask? Why, just your average run of the mill man-turning-into-a-giant-mosquito that's all. Is it kind of a rip off of "The Fly"? Maybe. But it still sounds pretty cool and Lloyd Kaufman is in the cast. I don't know what else you people want.

I'm not trying to be the guy who doesn't like the movie that everyone likes here but I did not care for "Avatar". There, I said it. In all fairness I didn't see it in the theaters so maybe that's it. I kind of wanted the army guys to win. Those blue people were annoying. So I'm not that devastated by the news that "Avatar 2" will most likely not hit it's December 2014 release date. I also don't really like "Day Of the Dead". God, it feels good to get all this out there.

In a recent interview the burned one himself Robert Englund waxed poetic (I don't think I'm useing that right)... (that's what she said) about the "Nightmare on Elm Street" prequel that never came to be. Apparently there was even a script floating around about the events that led up to Freddy coming to be the nightmare stalker but the fat cats in Hollywood never got it off the ground. Stupid fat cats and their fat cat love of fat cat food. That makes no sense, I know.

In Real People News: 

Good to know: Apparently the sentence for trying to yank an elderly man off the toilet by his genitals in the nursing home you work at in Minnesota is 45 days in jail. Keep that in mind.

An Iowa man is in hot water after we was caught on camera peeing on the office chairs of his "attractive" co-workers. Somewhere in Iowa right now there's a woman sitting in an office sobbing because her chair doesn't smell like piss.

Netflix Instant Watch: "Mum & Dad" (2008)

Polish immigrant Lena accepts a ride with her cheerful co-worker Birdie, only to find herself knocked unconscious and imprisoned by a deranged family of murderers. Now Lena must find a way to appease the demented clan or suffer an agonizing death. This is a sick and twisted little gem that just recently became available on instant watch and is definitely worth a watch. Acting, set design and sound direction are all top notch in this oddly different slasher flick.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, April 3rd, 2011

Why the hell not? It looks like Sonar Entertainment and Panacea Entertainment are teaming up to create a new TV series based on the "Hellraiser" franchise. Nothing has actually been written or sold to anyone but if all goes well you'll be seeing Pinhead on Fox Family next Fall.

The "Leprechaun" reboot is finally getting some traction today, dropping the news that it will be titled "Leprechaun: Origins" and has a little leading man in the form of Hornswoggle. Apparently that's a wrestler and I have no idea what his real name is but based on the amount of twitter action I saw this past Sunday during Wrestlemania 95% of our readers have semis right now.

I don't know about you but I loved "The Woman in Black". I want to open mouth kiss it at inspiration point. So now I'm excited for the three way I'm going to have in the back of my Honda CRV because a sequel has just been announced. "The Woman in Black: Angels of Death" will pick up 40 years after the first film and is being penned by Jon Croker who worked as the story editor on the first film. Alright I know you can't have sex with a movie. A guy can dream though can't he?

Get excited, kids! "We Need to Talk About Kevin", everyone's favorite "my son is an asshole" flick is coming to Blu-Ray and DVD on May 29th. That's all I got. Please tip your waiter.

In Real People News: 

Listen up you little white trash toddlers! Here's a story about a Louisiana man who died at a Wrestlemania party this past weekend after his cousin put him in a choke hold. I have no idea how you little scamps are still alive.

And here without further adieu is the greatest Juggalo freestyle of all time.

Album Review: 3 Inches Of Blood - Long Live Heavy Metal

Countless bands have written songs and albums as an ode to the music they love. From Ronnie James Dio penning “Long Live Rock 'N Roll” during his stint with Rainbow, right through to the current classic metal revival, the psalm of metal solidarity has become almost a rite of passage for young bands. What is often unsaid is that underneath the love for heavy metal, the songs themselves usually offer nothing but an assortment of cliches.

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