Album Review: Modern Day Escape - "Under the Gun"

Modern Day Escape is the black sheep of Standby Records' family, a wayward but still loving brother who treads a path ever so slightly different than their labelmates. All of the other children that comprise this "Rock and Roll 2.0" movement are caught between the two poles of emo-rock and heavy metal, while Modern Day Escape does not suffer from a similar crisis of identity and image.

Album Review: The All-American Rejects - "Kids In The Street"

The All-American Rejects make me feel old. As a member of an internet community supporting a not-to-be-named pop band, I was one of the first to come into contact with the then upstart kids. Their independent label first album gained traction and spread among pop-rock fans by word of mouth, building a fan-base before getting the major label treatment. What was evident in that first batch of songs was a knack for writing a hook. Saccharine as any fan of grittier rock music would call it, that debut album was a masterful piece of pop music, considering the youth on display.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, March 28th, 2011

Just a heads up, I feel awesome today. Someone's getting a hug that goes on for just a little too long.

What is it about Stanley Tucci's name that makes me want to pinch a baby's cheeks? Not like in a creepy way, just like in an adorable way. This has gotten kind of weird. He's joined the cast of "Your Voice in My Head" and will play a psychiatrist who helps a self abusing woman, played by Emma Watson, heal her mental scars. Tucci Tucci Tucci! Come on, it's adorable.

I've seen the 1995 movie "Embrace of the Vampire" no less than a dozen times and I could not tell you what the hell it's about. All I remember is Alyssa Milano was nude for 90% of the film and had sex with just about everyone that was on screen. CineTel Films, who I've never heard of but are now my favorite studio, have decided it's time for a remake of the soft core classic. I wonder if Milano will have a cameo. God I hope so.

Chloe Moretz is kind of awesome. She was brutal in "Kick Ass", she was creepy as hell in "Let Me In" and she's pretty damn funny on "30 Rock". So now I'm excited about the "Carrie" remake because she's officially been offered the lead role. If there's anyone that can pull off a pig-blood prom dress it's her. I just hope it isn't after labor day. That's a fashion no-no.

If you didn't like "The Woman In Black" then I kind of want to punch you in the face. It scared the crap out of me. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm not going to punch you in the face if you don't buy the DVD when it's released in May though. I understand times are though and you can't drop money on every movie I like. Where the hell would you even keep the entire "Police Academy" series? There's like 9 films. That's so much shelf space.

In Real People News: 

Need another reason to not visit the Florida Keys? How about giant 9 pound rats that are invading the coast line? Plus Disney World is like a 40 hour drive or something from there.

I love it! A woman in NY is under arrested after she lost her shit on the highway and just started throwing coffee into people's windows. Sometimes you just gotta burn people to make a point that you're sick of traffic.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, March 27th, 2011

100% honest here, I don't think my news today is my best work. Sure there's a couple funny quips in there but all and all I kind of phoned things in. I'm pretty sure I do remember how "Battle Los Angeles" ended I just couldn't think of anything else to write. I'll try harder tomorrow. I promise.

Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum have both been offered roles in the upcoming Wachowskis brothers film "Jupiter Ascending". Honestly I just don't have it in me to find out what the movie is going to be about so let's just call it "Matrix" with even worse acting and a ton more adorable.

I'm not sure anyone asked for it but it looks like Jonathan Liebesman is hard at work on a sequel to 2011's alien invasion flick "Battle Los Angeles". I know I saw the movie and don't think I hated it but for the life of me I can't remember how it ended. So I'm really excited to see where this goes.

I'm so Twi-Hard at this news right now I can't even stand up. Billy Burke, who's in all the "Twilight" movies in case you didn't get the reference, has been officially confirmed to be be joining the cast of J.J. Abrams' new series "Revolution". In the show a family will struggle to reunite in a post apocalyptic America. Burke will play a dad who discovers his daughter is in love with a vampire and a werewolf at the same time. Wait no... that can't be right.

Our next lucky contestant in the scoop up any book that has teens fighting in it is Lex Thoma who penned the book "Quarantine: The Loners" which is about a world where a deadly virus is killing anyone who reaches puberty. Teens form gangs and then battle for territory and survival. I hope some of them dress up like the Baseball Furies. Those guys were scary as all hell.

In Real People News: 

I didn't know this was illegal but a Montana man is under arrest after he got a dog drunk. Oh I get it now. It wasn't his dog. You can't get someone else's dog drunk. You can do whatever the hell you want to your own though.

If you're going to expose yourself to people you're probably going to get caught and go to jail. So don't even bother trying to eat all the pot you have on you. You're going to get busted for that too and now you're naked and all stoned our of your mind. On second though maybe you should eat it. What else do you have to lose?

The Terror Experiment (REVIEW)

More and more I am finding much to love in the DTV and SyFy Channel type movie circuit. You know the ones I mean (and if you don’t what are you doing reading at this site, amirite? I kid, of course.). If I see a DVD cover with a little icon in one of the corners that says “Man-Eater Series” or something along those lines I am immediately sold. For our particular time and place these films are perhaps the closest thing we can get to the “Gindhouse” of years gone by.

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