Horror Headlines: Tuesday, May 1st, 2011

April showers bring May flowers. And Mayflower's bring Pilgrims! My first grade teacher, Mr. Lewis, taught me that. She might have been the oldest person I ever knew. Get to know me.

There's a lot of awful things I would like to see happen to Los Angeles but I can honestly say a dinosaur attack has never crossed my mind. Universal though has decided to move forward with a picture that will be co-written and directed by John Clisham about just such an event happening. I for one welcome out new dino-overloads.

Wait Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel are doing a movie called "The Apocalypse" and Jason Segel has decided to join the cast? This is unprecedented. After years of demanding these guys have finally decided to maker a movie! This will be the most original film ever imagined with a cast no one has seen before. What's it about? Well the title is elusive but it's about the end of the world. I KNOW! Breaking new ground. Emma Watson has joined the cast too, but that's not really funny.

Everyone loves Amber Heard. Not enough to watch that Playboy show she was on for about 3 weeks but they still love her. Word around campus is that she'll soon be cast in "Subject 6", a new film about a student who is a paid participant in a month-long behavioral study but quickly begins to suspect she's actually a prisoner. I mean I don't think anyone actually loves her enough to see any of her movies. But still, we adore her.

Eli Roth has announced that he will be opening a new haunted house attraction in Las Vegas this coming September. The year round attraction will be called Goretorium and will be a multilevel experience for super horror fans around the globe. This actually sounds pretty cool. I'd like to go there with you and maybe take in a show. I love buffets.

In Real People News: 

I've never been cut off at a bar but if I was I'd like to think I'd handle it better than this guy in Texas who decided to barricade the bar from the outside and set it on fire. I'd also like to think if I did do that I would run away and not get caught like he did. I have high standards for myself.

Kids do the craziest things when they're drunk. Like this Illinois teen who got hammered and then bit her mother and dog. She's in jail now. Kids in jail also do the darnedest things. Like get sexed into gangs.

Album Review: Allegaeon - "Formshifter"

Allegaeon took the internet reviewing world fairly by storm with their heady debut "Fragments of Form and Function" in 2010. Critics saw an aggressive but honest extreme metal band, tap-dancing on the boundary between noise and craft. 2012 sees the band follow up with "Formshifter," an album that takes cues both visual and musical from the latest incarnation of heavy metal stalwarts Fear Factory. While commonly seen as European, extreme metal is mostly a shared invention of countries on both sides of the Pond, with Allegaeon simply carrying the torch for those before.

Creature (REVIEW)

There’s a lot to be said about a movie that goes down the same path as dozens of other horror films and still manages to keep the viewer entertained. “Creature” happens to be one of those movies. It’s chock full of gore, a ridiculous back story, tons of nudity and Sid Haig. Within the first 10 minutes you’re seeing so many similarities to the “Hatchet” films that you start to get a little dizzy. The film does a good job of keeping you entertained though, seriously there’s a ton of nudity, and really only seems to fault when it tries to differentiate itself from the pack.

Horror Headlines: Monday, April 30th, 2011

It looks like everyone's favorite sailor boy Sam Raimi has been confirmed to produce the upcoming "Poltergeist" remake. This puts an end to the rumors that he would be taking the director's chair for the film. But if not him then who!? And why do we call him "sailor boy"? It's almost like I'm making all of this up or something.

Fans of "The Ring" will be excited, shocked, disgusted and/or neutral on the news that there may be another film in the works. According to Paramount Film Group president Adam Goodman there's an idea being tossed around that would see the next installment in the film series going the found footage route. Ya know, cause why not?

I don't want to say this is the worst news day ever but I'm about to give you an update on casting for "Wrong Turn 5". Ready? Simon Ginty, Oliver Hoare, Amy Lennox, Paul Luebke, Duncan Wisbey, Kyle Redmond-Jones and Peter Brooke are all in. I honestly have no idea who any of these people are.

Blah blah blah Asylum is making a "Battleship" rip off called "American Battleship" and Universal is pissed about it and going to sue. They're just mad because they didn't think of putting Carl Weathers in his Apollo Creed shorts on the poster. Ya know, cause it's a lot cheaper to get Carl Weathers than Rihanna. I just assume.

In Real People News: 

An Indiana man is under arrest after he forced another man to moonwalk at gun point. Wasn't this in a movie? I feel like it was Gene Wilder holding the gun. That can't be right though. Someone help me out here. It wasn't "See No Evil, Hear No Evil" was it?

It's got to be a fun night for a cop when you're called to a trailer court because a shotgun just went off and there's a guy who calls himself BeeSting wrestling with a resident. Beats traffic duty I guess.

1951 Down Place Episode 8: "The Quatermass Xperiment"

"There is no room for personal feelings in Science!" Or so Prof. Quatermass would have you believe in 1955's "Quatermass Xperiment"! This here's a classic folks, so be sure to join Scott, Derek and myself over at 1951 Down Place as we delve deep into this sci-fi staple!

Around the Web

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web