The Wicker Tree (REVIEW)

Let’s start this off by saying I’m not going to spend a lot of time comparing Robin Hardy’s 1973 “The Wicker Man” with his latest film “The Wicker Tree”. Surely enough people out there have grouped “The Wicker Man” amongst films such as “Rosemary’s Baby”, “Don’t Look Now”, and many others as a paramount example of prestige horror. It’s a movie that many genre fans and critics point to as an “excuse” for genre films or to show horror detractors that, yes; these movies are worth their salt. But this isn’t a review of comparing this unofficial/spiritual “sequel” to its noteworthy ancestor.

Album Review: Municipal Waste - "The Fatal Feast"

There are no secrets here. Not that anyone expected there to be. Municipal Waste is an awful lot of things as a band, but subtle just plain isn’t one of them.

Their new album, “The Fatal Feast,” is sixteen cuts of punk-heavy thrash, and there are no other adjectives that can feasibly be used to describe the style of music. It is those things and nothing more or less.

Horror Headlines: Monday, April 9th, 2011

Sammy Shepard is a creepy bastard. It's a fact. It's on the internet, there's no arguing it. For this fact alone he is a perfect fit for Scott Cooper's new gritty 80's era crime-thriller "Out Of the Furnace". The story follows a man recently released from prison who finds his brother has been murdered. Shepard plays the killer but we don't find that out till the end. Oh, spoiler alert. I'm kidding of course. I have no idea who the killer is. Man if it is him though wouldn't that be cool? It's like I can see the future or something. Think of a number and let me know on twitter when you're ready. I'll tell you what number you're thinking of.

Strap in kids because "The Dark knight Rises" has officially been given a rating by the MPAA. It's such big news that I think we should just sit back and take a deep breath and prepare for it. Now look around the room. Is there anything you want to say to the people around you before you read this in case the news gives you a heart attack and you die right there? Go tell them. I'll wait. No maybe you might want to go to the bathroom. I heard when you die everything lets go and you don't want a giant mess ruining your corpse. Ok. Are we good? Ready? Here we go. PG-13. The rating is PG-13.

There's all kinds of problems going on with Tom Six's "The Human Centipede Three". Namely Six and the first film's star Dieter Laser having slap fights about money or some crap. Well today news has dropped that Laser is officially out of the project and will be replaced by none other Udo Kier, who kind of looks like Dieter Laser so i guess problem solved. Ya know, unless you see the film actually being made as the problem. In which case you're still SOL.

In Real People News: 

Here's a heartwarming story about a drunk guy who beat up an handicapped man because he tried to take his Playboy. Happy Easter.

Boys will be boys! And 18 year old Florida chap is in hot water after he apparently drove into a crowd on purpose. The whole thing went down after the boy and his sister got into a fight with a group and decided to mow down their opposition. Like the age old saying goes. Never bring a knife to a car fight. Or something.

Album Review: Exumer - "Fire and Damnation"

In this era where nostalgia reigns supreme and everyone looks back with strained eyes in an attempt to dissect some heretofore uncovered golden nugget of wisdom, music is not immune to these effects. Since 2008, bands celebrating the twenty-fifth anniversary of the rise of American thrash have gone back to the books, looking to temper their fire with long, discerning studies of trends long gone in hopes of resurrecting the past into the present.

Horror Headlines: Friday, April 6th, 2011

No surprise here, "Piranha 3DD" has been slapped with an R rating by the fine people at the MPAA because of it's gore and boobies. Those aren't the words they used but I think you get the idea. Boobies.

Hey remember "The X-Files"? I do too. Man we have so many memories in common. Well despite the lack luster results of 2008's "X-Files: I Want To Believe" film it looks like there's a solid chance writer Frank Spotnitz will be dropping another installment in the never ending series sometime in the next few years. Sorry fans of.... whatever the hell else he's been doing. You'll have to wait.

Vinnie Jones might be a giant man but for some reason to me he seems like a big old sweetheart. Vincent D'Onofrio on the other hand is probably a really nice guy but I always assume he's got woman locked in his basement. I'm not sure what 50 Cent does with his free time. The point here is that all three have joined Sylvester Stallone in "The Tomb", a film about a prison designer who must escape his own creation. I didn't say it was a good point.

If you like Bigfoot and you like "The Blair Witch Project" then you're going to love "Exists" which will officially start filming next week. The movie is a found footage flick by Blair Witch mastermind Eduardo Sanchez and tells the story of a group of campers in Texas who are stalked by the big one. If you're luke warm on one of those things and still like the other you might still be excited. I don't want to speak for you.

In Real People News: 

Something about saying this Illinois woman is under arrest for "tearing" her boyfriends scrotum off is so much worse then just saying she removed it. Or borrowed it. Tearing is so harsh. It makes my baby making parts hurt.

Remember in "Jackass" when what's his name went into the car wash to get all the doody off his ass? Well apparently that doesn't really work because police in British Columbia discovered a man screaming his head off in the middle of a car wash after he thought it would be funny to run through naked. If you can't trust "Jackass" who can you trust?

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