10 Songs for the Darkness, Part 1

The screen goes up, the headphones on, ITunes open, hit shuffle, then unwrap Firefox, Chrome, or Safari and you’re off. The soundtrack for your daily bill paying, gaming, or noodling session online is whatever Apple’s ‘random’ algorithm decides that it will be. The preceding scenario describes the general way in which most people I know, who aren’t exercising, connect with music these days. And truthfully, I too love to have a score to alleviate the monotony of tasks most dull, but I remember a time when the music was the event.

Horror Headlines: Friday, March 2nd, 2011

No news today guys. Sorry I just don't have it in me. I'm kidding of course there's a bunch of stories right below this. Man you'll believe anything I tell you.

Nick Swardson is pretty damn funny when he isn't playing a bucked toothed porn star in movies so I'm fairly excited for the new stop motion flick titled "Hell and Back" in which he stars. If you can star in a stop motion film. I don't know how that works. Anyway the movie is about a couple friends who have to travel into hell to save their friend who's been dragged down into the fiery depths and today we've learned that Mila Kunis has been cast as a spicy demon who is one of the few people who know how to navigate the underworld. Man it took us a long time to get to that didn't it? I just like spending time with you.

I don't know what it means when a company "options" something but the good people at Sony have optioned a big screen adaptation of the comic book "Bloodshot". For those of you not familiar with the comic book it tells the story of a former gangster who finds himself injected with microscopic computers that make him a super weapon after he goes into the witness protection program. For those of you not familiar with Sony they're a big company that makes a bunch of electrons and apparently puts out movies also.

Director Eric England has been hand selected by the powers that be to direct a new film titled "Contracted". The movie focuses on a young girl who has a one night stand and contracts what she thinks is an STD. It turns out to be something much worse though. A baby? Is it a baby? I'm guessing it's a baby. My money is on baby!

Didn't Darren Lynn Bousman's "11-11-11" already come out on VOD? Am I wrong here? I'm so confused. Well it's coming out again on march 6th. Or maybe for the first time. I don't know. It will then be available on DVD April 24th. So if you're itching to see a film based on a would-be world ending 6 months after the date passed then you're in luck.

In Real People News: 

If you crash and blow up your car while crying drunk you really don't have anything to loose so why not make up a story. Saying another car started shooting at you for no reason might not be the most believable but it's still worth a shot.

If you're on meth there's a good chance the job opportunities aren't flying in so if you happen to get an interview you might want to not show up naked like this guy in Sacramento. Although if you do there's a good chance you're not going to get the job so feel free to go ahead and fight the cops who come to take you away.

Album Review: Hopes Die Last - "Trust No One"

Hopes Die Last wants to grab your attention and not let go. The first vision of the band most people encounter will be their cover art, which is wonderfully grisly and disturbing and gory all at the same time. The album behind that image is a mixed bag of emotions, tempos and styling, built upon an intentionally rocky foundation to keep the listener engaged in the same manner that a high-speed car chase does. Whatever is around the bend remains a mystery until the album is right directly on top of it.

Trailers: "Piranha 3DD" Is Everything You Could Want and More

The trailer for "Piranha 3DD" is finally here and I can't say there's any surprises in it but there's also everything you could possibly want. Lots of boobs, blood and over the top 3D are here for your viewing pleasure. There's also Ving Rhames with gun-legs and David Hasselhoff being kind of a prick. I feel like those last two things should have been some sort of surprise to me and everyone else. But they aren't. These are strange times we live in my friends.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, March 1st, 2011

Welcome to March! In days of old the druids would celebrate the first day of March by taking some time off from Druiding and enjoying some fishing. They would spend most of February building canoes and the person with the best canoe would be given the title of Supreme Kleeton. He would be showered with gifts and given the best fishing pole in all of the Druid town. The person with the worst canoe would be flogged to death. It really sucked.

Steve Watson's book "Before I Go to Sleep", a tale of a woman who's suffering from a injury that has left her without the power to save new memories for two decades, has been in the big screen adaptation bucket for a while now without much action. But today my friends, oh today we have news that Nicole Kidman is in talks to take on the lead role in the film. So I guess that's still not much momentum there. In talks could be she went out to dinner, got drunk and said something like "Hey! I want to play the lead in a movie that sounds a lot like 'Memento' but isn't 'Memento'".

The short film "Archetype", which tells the story of a robot that begins to think on it's own, has been picked up by "Chronicle" producer John Davis with plans to turn it into a feature film. No word on when the movie will start filming but I'm hoping they turn it into "Short Circuit 3". I've been waiting almost 25 years for that movie to happen.

I've never seen "The Day of the Triffids" and to be honest I thought it was a Star Trek episode until now but it looks like Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures has picked up the rights to remake the 1962 film. The movie focuses on a couple left with the power of sight after a meteorite shower hits the earth, leaving the population blind and giant plants growing everywhere. "The Trouble With Tribbles"! That's the Star Trek episode I'm thinking of.

Bill Paxton has joined Laurence Fishburne in the cast of "The Colony". The film follows a group of survivors trying to fend off a gang of cannibals after the second ice age hits. How do they cook the meat if it's the ice age? God I hope they answer that question in the movie. That's all I want to know. I'll walk out of the theater once they tell me.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to leave your just-used butt plug someplace you might want to make sure that place isn't the back seat of the cop car you were just thrown into. I don't know proper butt plug etiquette though. I could be wrong on this.

A North Caroline man is with us no more after he accidentally drank gasoline and then lit up a smoke. A mistake any of us could or have made in the past.

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