Horror Headlines: Monday, May 21st, 2011

Looks like Jonah Hill is getting fat again. Good.

Word around campus is that there could be a TV series in the works based on the 1992 Brett Leonard film "The Lawnmower Man". David Titcher is already working on a script for the pilot and plans to announce the show are rumored to be in line for this year's Cannes. So see, there's no reason to go to Cannes. You can just read my news and eat a croissant.

I could have sworn filming had already begun but according to Tom Hardy he's been on stand by for "Mad Max: Fury Road" for over two years and doesn't expect to see things moving along anytime soon. Now that I think of it I'm pretty sure I remember filming already being done and the movie being released. I loved it! Yeah that's right I loved it. This Tom Hardy guy is a giant liar. Who are you going to believe? Pick a side. Now.

There can only be one "Highlander" remake! Well there can be more than one I guess. There can be as many as Hollywood wants. But the one it wants right now may have in fact found a leading man in the form of hunky boom box profit Ryan Reynolds. Nothing has been confirmed and so far no official offers have been made but I'm being 100% honest here, I have no idea what that last part means. It sounds really cool though.

It's a day of old things being new my friends. That might not make sense but let's just go with it. today we've got news from the "Blade Runner" camp that the new film will be a sequel that will pick up shortly where the 1982 original left off. Which is fun because the original was set in 2019, which is really only a few years away. So let's see how they lie their way out of this one.

In Real People News: 

Some men leave flowers, some men leave chocolate and still some other men leave porn and dildos on a woman's doorstep. Those last few go to jail by the way. It's a big time illegal thing to do.

A Maryland man is under arrest after pulling a fire alarm at a crowded theater during a showing of "The Avengers" because he was angry with the theater's decision to put closed captioning up with the film. I can't even begin to count how many times I've set off the fire alarm just to get out of having to read.

Album Review: The Bunny the Bear - "The Stomach For It"

The Bunny the Bear is a post-hardcore band that some have said incorporates dance elements into their music to flesh out their sound. More than that, the band is equal parts musical and theatrical experiment, attempting to push both the envelope of the hardcore sound and the envelope of presentation. This is one of those situations where fans will stand by and argue that detractors simply don't understand the fusion and exploration that's going on, and that might be true; but it also makes the bold assumption that the fusion and exploration is worth getting.

Exhumed (REVIEW)

Providence RI based director Richard Griffin has carved a niche in independent genre films by mining the tropes of the past. Under the Scorpio Films Releasing production company he's released odes to the sticky floored 42nd Street salad days (The Disco Exorcist, Nun of That), and simpler eras where McCarthyism ruled and teens piled into Chevys to watch B-movies under the open skies (Atomic Brain Invasion). While his films have always mined the conventions of the era he's spoofing, there's always been an aura of fun, even whimsy is the films.

Album Review: SIVA Addiction - "Bad Decisions"

SIVA Addiction pounds out heavy metal in that uniquely blue-collar American way that is totally untouched by other countries, influences or genres. There is a sliver of the genre that remains impossibly true to the original form of heavy metal; a logical, blown-out extension of rock and roll from the middle seventies that revels in all the pomp and dirt that the legacy of that era entails. That sliver thrived in the U.S.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, May 17th, 2011

If there's one thing I think of when people mention the crowd at Comic-Con it's "these guys love to exercise". So everyone will be in for a treat this July when the The Walking Dead Escape: San Diego is unveiled to celebrate the comics 100th issue. Visitors will be able to play the role of a zombie, a survivor or a spectator in an evacuation zone. I can already hear the wheezing and smell the BO.

Hold the phones folks, Eli Roth is going to direct a movie. It's called "The Green Inferno" and I have no idea what it's about but it's going to be filming in Chili and Roth co-wrote the screenplay with Guillermo Amoedo. Did you hold your phone? You really don't get the full effect unless you're holding your phone right now.

Dimension Films has picked up the rights to "Compulsion", a new film starting Heather Graham and Carrie-Anne Moss. Remember the joke I made about Carrie-Anne Moss earlier in the week? Man that was funny huh? Anyway no release date has been announced for the remake of a Japanese film about two neighbors who find themselves on the opposite sides of the luck pole. I don't know if there's such a thing as a luck pole but I wish I had thought of that when I was single. Think about it.

John Cusack and Elijah Wood in the same movie? Oh my lukewarm excitement. The film is called "The Grand Pioano" and Cusack is just in talks right now but the film is about a pianist who finds a note saying he'll die if he plays one note wrong. Wood will play the pianist and Cusack the lovable geek who ends up getting the girl. That might be a lie.

In Real People News: 

A Wisconsin man has taken to picketing at an all you can eat buffet after he was cut off from the food line when he devoured 12 plates full during their fish fry night. Normally I think protesting is stupid and useless but in this case I fully support this man. You've got to stand for something.

A 67 year old man may have possibly died in the greatest way possible, at a strip club. More importantly he died at a strip club after getting a night full of lap dances and before he paid his tab. Dare to dream.

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