Horror Headlines: Friday, May 11th, 2011

Sunday is Mother's Day. You're welcome for the reminder you thoughtless prick.

I've still got Chloe Moretz fever. I say still because I'm pretty sure I've used this joke before and I know you jag-offs at home are keeping score so I wanted to play it safe. The news here though is that Moretz is in talks with Inferno Entertainment to play a zombie in their new film "Maggie". The film follows Maggie's 6 month transformation into a zombie and will be awesome. Unless Dakota Fanning somehow ends up playing the role. That would blow.

You had me at "From the producer of 'The Crow'". That's sarcasm by the way, I don't want you to ever mistake my sarcasm as love for "The Crow". When I was in High School I was on the football team and there was this prick Marty who painted his face like the Crow before a game. I will hate that kid till the day I die for that reason alone. Well his odd passion for country music too but mostly the crow thing. My point is Edward R. Pressman is working on an adaptation of the graphic novel "Feeding Ground".

"'The Raid' WILL EXPLODE IN OVER 280 CINEMAS ACROSS THE UK & IRELAND ON 18 MAY". I don't care how old I get saying something will "explode" will always make me chuckle. Think about it. Ya know... like when a man... NEVERMIND! But the rumors are true, the little movie that could about a lone cop left standing after a drug raid will be hitting selected theaters this month for your viewing pleasure. Unless of course you're in the US. Then you get no pleasure.

The guys who wrote a bunch of those "Not Another..." movies are now writing a spoof of "The Hunger Games" called "The Starving Games". I don't think I can do this anymore.

In Real People News: 

Here's a story about a group of 6th grade boys down in Mexico that made a gay porn in one of their classrooms. Congratulations Mexico, you're come up with the most disturbing story I've ever read.

A Florida man, I know shocking, decided to stab his computer with a Samurai sword as police raided is house looking for child pornography. Yes there's no way that this will erase anything from his hard drive but you got to admire his style. Ya know, as much as you can admire a guy who's downloading kiddie porn.

Talking To Trioscapes' Dan Briggs

Dan Briggs is used to pushing the envelope. His main band, Between The Buried And Me, is full of twists and turns that throw convention to the wind. Naturally, his side project would not be an exercise in restraint. Trioscapes is as progressive as anything he has ever done, eschewing normal instrumentation and structure to put together an album that needs to be heard to be understood. He was kind enough to answer some questions on the nature of his music, how he approaches creativity, and what the future holds.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, May 10th, 2011

"Shaun Of The Dead" and "Hot Fuzz" power couple Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, or Simgar, are set to begin production on "The World's End" this September. The film is about a group of friends who reunite to attempt an epic pub crawl 20 years after their first go around. I'm not going to lie, I'm already imagining the heartfelt ending of the movie where they cry and hug over beers and I'm getting a little misty.

Stephen King's "The Reach" is next on the list to get the big screen adaptation treatment. While negotiations are still in their early stages King himself says the story, about a elderly woman who travels to a ghost island over a large frozen stretch of water, is the one he'd "most like to be remembered for after his death". So don't F this up Hollywood fat cats. Or else you'll have the ghost of Stephen King on your ass.

FX has plans to adapt the Chelsea Cain’s book "Heartsick" for the little screen sometime in the near future. The story, which is the first in a trilogy, tells the tale of a female serial killer and her relationship with a beat up Portland detective. Do they have serial killers in Portland? I thought it was all donuts and hippies. Wait, serial killer that prays on hippies? I like where this is going.

Production on "The Scribbler", staring Katie Cassidy and Eliza Dushku, has officially begun in sunny LA. The movie follows the fun story of a young woman using a new experimental tool that helps to eliminate multiple personalities. Do you think it works? What a terrible movie it would be if it does and everything works fine the first time. They hook the girl up to a car battery and 15 minutes later she's all better and drinking a coffee. Roll credits.

In Real People News: 

This story is awful but I'm also very curious as to how a couple in Indiana drove away from a liquor story with 4 toddlers strapped to the roof of their car. How did no one get a picture of this? I bet it was so frightening and adorable it would make you puke.

Try to steal copper from a power plant, get electrocuted and burst into flames. That's simple math.

Album Review: Brendon Small's "Galaktikon"

Brendon Small’s “Galaktikon” is as much a story about finishing what you started as it is the divorce of the galaxy’s most popular superhero. Halfway invested prior to the recording of “Dethalbum II,” Small shelved this ad-hoc unfinished project until such a time as he could return to it and complete it. From that end, “Galaktikon” is anything but a typical vanity project, and shows not only Small’s dedication to his artistic exploration, but also his loyalty to Gene Hoglan and the musicians who helped him create it. He doesn’t want their work to be for nothing.

Targets (REVIEW)

In the latter half of the 1960s, Boris Karloff owed legendary exploitation film producer Roger Corman two days of work. Karloff was 81 years old, only had one functional lung and, when the cameras weren’t rolling, was mostly confined to a wheelchair, an oxygen mask strapped to his face. Even with his best days behind him, he was still Boris Karloff, the man behind the makeup of some of the greatest movie monsters to ever grace the screen.

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