Carver (REVIEW)

A group of twenty somethings head out to Halcyon Ridge for a weekend camping trip. All seems normal as the foursome meets up and sets up camp. Upon arriving at the camp site, they are first greeted by the friendly bar proprietor of the small town who talks them into cleaning out his cabin in exchange for a night of free drinks.

Horror News 3/11/08

Neil Marshall's next film has been greenlit by Rogue Pictures, and it will be called "Sacrilege". The film, set in the Old West during the Gold Rush, is being described as "Unforgiven by way of H.P. Lovecraft, with that grim, gritty setting and a horror element nobody has seen before." I'm sold. Marshall's great with those small horror flicks based around that feeling of isolation, as both "The Descent" and "Dog Soldiers" proved. This Friday will see the release of his next film "Doomsday", so we'll soon find out if he's as good on a large scale as he is on a small one.

target="_blank">Here is the poster for a film called "Zombies Zombies Zombies!", with the tagline "Strippers VS Zombies".... not to be confused with Friday's story about "Zombie Strippers". I see a theme emerging here.

Edgar Wright ("Shaun of the Dead", "Hot Fuzz") is out talking up his next project, target="_blank">an adaptation of the Marvel comic "Ant-Man". He has this to say about the project: "It’s going to be less overtly comedic than anything else I’ve ever done. It’s more of a full-on action adventure sci-fi film but with a comedic element – in the same spirit of a lot of escapist fare like that. It’s certainly not a superhero spoof
or pastiche and it certainly isn’t a sort of 'Honey I Shrunk The Kids' endeavor at all."
I'm not saying they're scraping the bottom of the comic book barrel here, but what's next? Termite man?

Next up on the remake block? 1978's "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". And in news that will make Mark's head explode, it's being written by the two doofs behind AskANinja.com. There are so many things wrong with this story it's hard to know where to start. The original film is one of the best low-budget masterpieces ever made, but I'm sure the remake will replace the wonderfully quaint giant tomatoes with some type of deplorable CGI... and really, who wants to see that? I realize it's funny that I'm getting worked up about this, but come on, it's Killer Tomatoes!

In Real People News: 

We can all rest easy, because The Vatican href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080310/ts_nm/pope_sins_dc"
target="_blank">has released a new list of sins for the 21st century to steer clear of. THANK GOD, because when I woke up this morning my first thought was "Gee, I can't think for myself, I really wish someone sets me straight today"." On a related note, I plan on breaking at least 3 of these today. Stay tuned for more.

A Thai man has been arrested after href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/08/
wbangkok108.xml" target="_blank">killing 8 of his neighbors, reportedly because they wouldn't shut down their karaoke party. The song that set him off? "Country Roads" by John Denver (which for some bizarre reason is apparently a huge hit in Thailand). It's not every day that John Denver sends someone into a homicidal rage, but In all fairness, he did warn them that he would kill them if they didn't stop. There was one survivor, who was sober enough to have the idea of playing dead.

Oh, and finally today, it's official: The Governor of NY is a poon-hound. This is the part where all the self-righteous politicians (most of whom have done the same exact thing, trust me) come out of the wood work and spew some of the worst hypocrisy you've ever heard. Although I will say, he's got a pretty hot wife... it's not like he's married to this... in which case I'd have to say, I understand.

On this day in history: 

1669: After a series of warning earthquakes near Mount Etna, the largest volcano in Europe spectacularly erupts, destroying the Sicilian town of Nicolosi and killing 20,000 people.

Horror News 3/10/08

Christopher Nolan is out href="http://chud.com/articles/articles/13931/1/THE-TWO-PERFORMANCES-OF-
TWO-FACE/Page1.html" target="_blank">talking about Harvey Dent, and how exactly he is going to pull off the "Two-Face" effect in "The Dark Knight". It's amazing how these new Batman movies are being executed so well, and there have been so many super-hero flicks screwed up over the years. "Spawn", I'm looking at you buddy. Click the link for effects talk, as well as some new promotion for the film.

Indie director Dante Tomaselli shot us an email over the weekend with some good and bad news. The bad? Well financial troubles have caused him to temporarily shut down production on his film "The Ocean", about what happens in a small seaside town when the water begins to mysteriously take people's lives. Not content to sit idly by, he is target="_blank">spending his newfound free time developing a film called "Torture Chamber", "a nightmarish shocker in the vein of HOUSE OF WHIPCORD, HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13TH." He assures us that "The Ocean" is not dead, and will finish shooting as soon as funds are available. We'll keep you updated when we hear more.

Justin Long has signed on to Sam Raimi's "Drag Me to Hell". I'm guessing your reaction to that is either highly negative, or slightly negative. I'm not that bothered, but I just don't see anyone getting excited about this.

Brian O'Halloran, who played Dante in Kevin Smith's "Clerks" will be attending target="_blank">Horror Hound Weekend March 28th, through 30th, along with the entire BG Horror crew. I know this guest isn't horror related, but my former 1990's self just became giddy with anticipation.

In Real People News: 

Usually I would make a "Darwin" comment about a drunk guy href="http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23340349-
5001021,00.html" target="_blank">losing an arm while trying to jump between two cars of a moving train. But there's something about this guy I kind of admire. Imagine believing you can do that. Now that's the type of can-do attitude we need in the White House.

An Italian man is suing his wife $300,000, claiming that her constant nagging has caused him to go impotent, and has ruined his life. I'm not exactly sure how you prove impotence in court, but something about this case made me chuckle this morning. So there you go.

On this day in history: 

1997: The Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe, is stabbed in both eyes during an altercation with another inmate at Broadmoor Hospital. Peter is serving a sentence for killing 13 women.

Horror News 3/7/08

There are a few reasons to check out poster and trailer for "Zombie Strippers". First off, Robert Englund as a maniacal strip club owner. Second... well, zombie strippers. The trailer is actually pretty sweet, but I have to ask, what the hell has happened to Jenna Jameson? She's looking more and more like an alien every day.

Some completely random dude at href="http://horror-movies.ca/horror_11065.html" target="_blank">another horror site caught a glimpse of the trailer for "The Lost Boys 2", and he says it sucks. He says, "If you are looking for good production values and great story telling you are likely to be severely disappointed." Yup, that sounds about right.

David Gordon Green href="http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2008/03/05/david-gordon-green-confirms-
suspiria-remake/" target="_blank">is officially directing the "Suspiria" remake. No, I haven't heard of him either, but apparently he's already written it, and is gearing up for pre-production. My, that happened fast, didn't it?

David Gordon Green href="http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2008/03/05/david-gordon-green-confirms-
suspiria-remake/" target="_blank">is officially directing the "Suspiria" remake. No, I haven't heard of him either, but apparently he's already written it, and is gearing up for pre-production. My, that happened fast, didn't it?

IMDB has target="_blank">a bunch of stills from "The Ruins", which sees wide release April 4th. The film centers on a bunch of teens who meet a shady foreigner while on vacation in Mexico, and strange things begin to happen. I remain vague because well, none of the official synopses mention anything about the strange crawly things under people's skin in target="_blank">the trailer. So, if you haven't seen it, check it out for yourself.

In Real People News: 

target="blank">Teen kills father for taking away his Myspace. In related news, just one more reason not to have children.

Good news this morning. An expert in the UK claims that before we ever have to deal with climate change, href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/mar/07/
scienceofclimatechange.food" target="_blank">the world will starve to death. Oh, wait a second, that's actually not good news at all. Hope you enjoy your weekend!

On this day in history: 

1945: Gen. George Patton urinates in the Rhine after the U.S. Third Army takes the bridge at Remagen... Classy.

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