Sands of Oblivion (REVIEW)

I have no idea why people continually talk smack about the good people over at the Sci-Fi Channel and their constant string of original movies. Sure, they may be very cheap and often amateurish, but they are also consistently entertaining. Often times, they are even better than what’s currently playing, genre wise, in the theater. In the past few weeks, I’ve enjoyed movies like "Alien Lockdown", "Chupacabra: Dark Seas" and "Reign of the Gargoyles". What has the cinema given me? Some shitty J-horror remake starring the block of wood formerly known as Jessica Alba. You know I am right.

Horror Headlines 3/6/08

I didn't think it was possible, but the alternate ending to "I Am Legend" is actually crappier than the theatrical ending. Check the video at the link. And is it just me, or has the CGI actually gotten worse? Maybe I just had time to cleanse my brain of it.

We finally have a debut date for "Fear Itself". Thursday, May 29th at 10pm, is when we'll all be seeing this new incarnation of "The Masters of Horror" on NBC. The 10pm time slot is a good thing as far as content, but it remains to be seen as to the quality. We'll find out soon enough.

Apparently, director David Gordon is claiming that he's still in talks to remake "Suspiria", and that there are some Italian producers that are "very interested" in seeing this project to fruition.
This is in contradiction to previous reports that the project was dead.
I may have to go into hiding after saying this, but I think this is one
of those that could actually benefit from a redux, as long as
it's done right. (ducks to avoid tomatoes)

More spoiler photos from "X-Files 2". These don't involve any creatures, but they are pretty spoilerific (I couldn't help it, I looked). So, there's your daily dose of "X-Files" spoilers. By the time this is all over I'll know everything that happens in the movie before I even get the chance to see it.

Can you imagine driving to work and seeing this? Apparently Universal paid a bunch of people to stand outside on a Hollywood street dressed like the post-apocalyptic peeps from Niel Marshall's "Doomsday" (in theaters March 14th). By the way, I call shenanigans on the chick in the foreground of the first photo... if you lived in a ravaged, post-apocalyptic wasteland, I highly doubt you would be able to get your hands on a pair of hipster glasses... just sayin.

In Real People News: 

Man goes on trial for pedophilia, gets convicted, and promptly jumps out a courthouse window. If only all of these guys were so helpful as to get rid of themselves for us.

If the idea of blood sausage sounds disgusting enough to you, how about if they're made with human blood? No? Still gross? The best part
about the story at the link is that the people gave up their blood
voluntarily for the sausages. Only in Germany, I guess.

On this day in history: 

1918: The US naval vessel "Cyclops" vanishes in the Bermuda Triangle.

Andrew Bonime

If you've heard the commentary on Anchor Bay's DVD release of "C.H.U.D." (1984) from a few years ago, you no doubt heard the accusations leveled at the film's producer Andrew Bonime. After hearing the track, he started his own website in order to get out his side of the story. Read on to find out about his original vision for the film, tension between himself and Daniel Stern, and what the original "CHUDS" were supposed to look like.

The director's cut which was contractually given to Doug was awful.

On your site you go into detail about the long writing process of "C.H.U.D."... did you ever think about just picking it up and finishing it yourself? Have you ever had any aspirations to write?

Horror Headlines 3/5/08

Mark Ecko entertainment has just announced that they're making a videogame based on the show "Dexter". "Dexter", a Showtime original series, focuses on a serial killer/blood splatter expert, who channels his murderous rage into hunting other serial killers. The critically acclaimed show has reached an even wider audience over the last few weeks, after it was co-opted for play on CBS Sundays, as an attempt to fill time left vacant by the writer's strike. The idea of a Dexter game sounds pretty sweet to me! There's a bit more info and some quotes at the source.

Here are character breakdowns for Sam Raimi's "Drag me to Hell". Does anyone care about these things? If so, let me know in the comments. I just can't believe that anyone is riveted by news like this, but maybe that's just me.

Monica Potter ("Con Air", "Saw") has been cast in the remake of "The Last House on the Left". At this point, after the fluffy/teenie actresses they've been announcing so far, I'm fully expecting Hannah Montana to be the next casting announcement.

This isn't really news, but I always love to report on Photoshop abortions. So thanks, "Shutter", for providing today's entry.

Remember yesterday when we told you about Frank Henenlotters' latest "Bad Biology"? Well, if you click on the "read more" link on this post you can check out the trailer after the jump. I wouldn't recommend doing it at work, unless of course things like sex, nudity, and vagina faces are okay with your bosses/coworkers. And if they are, shoot us an email, I'd love to hear about this place you work at.

In Real People News: 

Today in "not so shocking" news, a researcher has concluded that Moses was hallucinating on Mt. Sinai when he was "handed" the 10 Commandments. Damn Moses, that must have been some strong shit.

A Polish worker in the UK was recently caught having sex with a vacuum cleaner. It's okay though, according to the man he was just "vacuuming his underpants", which is (again, according to the man) a very common practice in Poland. Oh, alright then. Nothing fishy about that explanation.

On this day in history: 

1982: John Belushi found dead at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood from a cocaine and heroin overdose. A sketchy woman, Cathy Smith, is later charged with administering the fatal injections.

Horror Headlines 3/4/08

It's being reported that Platinum Dunes is now going to be remaking "Rosemary's Baby", the 1968 film starring Mia Farrow. These guys won't stop until they've remade EVERYTHING. I'm still crossing my fingers for the "Ghoulies Go To College" redux.

FOX is prepping a pilot titled "Inseparable", which is being described as modern day Jekyl and Hyde story. And this time they're not even waiting until their new show about the supernatural lawyer gets cancelled. I'm so proud!

The Crispin Glover vehicle (that's an odd sentence) "I Scream Man", about (you guessed it) an ice cream man slasher, has been delayed for both "financial and legal" reasons. Glover himself remains enthusiastic, but it's not looking good for this flick at the moment.

Alison Lohman has officially filled Ellen Paige's shoes as the lead in Sam Raimi's "Drag Me To Hell". So, those worried about the production filling the "jail bait" quotient in Paige's absence can rest easy.

NBC has released a full list of directors and synopses for their summer fright fest "FEAR Itself", which you'll recall is the is the new incarnation of Showtime's "Masters of Horror". So, are we excited yet?

Frank Henenlotter's next film, "Bad Biology", has been reviewed very positively. If you're in the mood for a trip, hit up Ebay and try
and find a copy of "Brain Damage". It's one of the strangest and most
disgusting films I've ever seen... so if "Biology" is anything like that
(or "Basketcase" for that matter) I'm sure it will kick ass.

In another attempt to make me love him even more, Uwe Boll has decided to release his offensive gem "Postal" in theaters opposite "Indiana Jones". The announcing statement comes complete with broken English smack talk against Spielberg... Priceless!

In Real People News: 

Today in the "Final Destination" department... a father of two died recently while cooking for his children, after the reactionary jerk from burning his hand caused him to stab himself in the heart with a kitchen knife. I wasn't there, but I've got money that "Rocky Mountain High" was playing in the background. Care to wager?

If you're so angry, that you can't even make it to your Anger Management class without punching a woman in the face, it may be time to re-evaluate your life. Just saying.

On this day in history: 

1966: Lennon claims that The Beatles are "more popular than Jesus", and that "Christianity will... vanish and shrink".

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