Horror Headlines 4/22/08

The Sarah Connor Chronicles has been renewed for another season by FOX. Given FOX's unorthodox release schedule, it's difficult to say what part of the year the ep's will run (summer, fall, winter etc...) and FOX is declining to comment at the moment.

I don't want to say that any graphic artist is "lazy" persay, but whoever made this poster for "The Strangers" needs to be fired. The previous two posters for this film were fantastic, why mess with it? The R rated home invasion pic gets a wide release May 30th.

Nana Visitor has been cast as Mrs. Voorhees in the "Friday the 13th" remake. In related news, her parents must have hated her to name her that. Visitor is a regular on the Scifi television scene, claiming roles in everything from Star Trek Deep Space Nine, to Dark Angel, to Battlestar Galactica.

Sony Screen Gems is planning on remaking the Linda Blair starrer "Hell Night", and making it PG-13. You may recall that they're the folks behind "the film whose name shall not be spoken" (hint: it rhymes with schmom shnight). When pressed for a reason for the rating, Screen Gems head Clint Culpepper said “You try not to make a movie for an audience that is older than your protagonist.” Now i'm really confused, since "Hell Night" is about college kids. In his defense though, at the time of the interview he was swimming in a pile of money ala Scrooge McDuck, so it was sort of hard to understand what he was saying.

In Real People News: 

If you have a friend who is possibly schizophrenic, it would not be a good idea to play a practical joke on him by falsely telling him his girlfriend has AIDS. I know that may seem cheeky and hilarious, but it's probably going to end in him stabbing her 32 times. Oh, and shenanigans on the author of the article for calling it a "Marijuana fueled attack". If anything that probably stopped him from stabbing her more.

This fat Robert Downey Jr. lookin guy has been arrested for cutting children's pictures out and pasting them onto porno shots. He gets bonus points for actually using paste (they still make that shit?) and getting caught so close to the release of "Iron Man". Thanks for being topical, guy!

8th grader gets charged with a felony for putting Nutter Butters in another student's lunchbox. The twist is that the student is deathly allergic to peanuts and the other kid knew it. He was also expelled. Add sodomy to that list and I think the kid will begin to get what he deserves.

On this day in history: 

1915: The German Army opens 5,700 canisters of chlorine gas upwind of French soldiers at Ypres. It is the first use of poison gas for military purposes.

Oneechanbara: The Movie

Well. Well well well. "Oneechanbara The Movie"

No clue what it's about really, but by that poster? I don't give a shit. I just pre-ordered tickets. Added bonus? If it gets the American remake treatment, there's a strong chance it'll be Sarah Michelle Gellar in that getup. Now that's a win win situation.

My Otaku buddy Tommy helped me to decipher the page. His response?

100% Casey

Cowgirl samurai? Check.

Schoolgirl apprentice? Big check.

Zombies? Oh yeah.

Mortal Kombat Vs DC Universe?!

I've been waiting to post this until it was "confirmed," and thanks to this proof from GamesRadar, Mortal Kombat Vs DC Univerise is in fact happening, and there's a teaser trailer! Now, I can never claim that Sub Zero vs Batman doesn't elicit a major question mark over my head, but I also can't say that this doesn't create a tremendous opportunity.

Episode 24 - "Suspiria" and "Inferno"

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Argento's first two "Three Mothers" films have the crew split down the middle. Shocking.

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

Horror Headlines 4/21/08

Don Mancini (The "Child's Play" Series) and Howie Mandel (of "Bobbie's World" fame... ha) are co-producing a pilot for the Sci-fi Channel titled "Kill Switch", about a woman who can teleport herself into the bodies of people about to be murdered. Also of note, now that I think about it Mancini kind of looks like Mandel when he had hair. Coincidence? Ya, probably.

If you're going to be at Comic Con today you'll get the chance to pick up a one-time only poster for "Hellboy II", drawn by artist Drew Struzan. The poster is at the link, if you can navigate the infuriating full page ad that pops up when you go there. Good luck my friends.

So some websites are reporting that production on "Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins" has shut down. BD on the other hand is reporting casting news, specifically that Moon Bloodgood is in negotiations to play the lead in the new Terminator film. No word on if she's in any way related to Slim Goodbody, who would probably be good in a horror film because he's the creepiest bastard ever. Seriously, google search that shit.

Wow... it seems that horror fans who have rented the French film "Inside" from Blockbuster are being met with a nasty surprise, those bastards at Cockbuster have cut 7 minutes from the film!. So, that's 7 minutes of gut churning blood you're missing out on, and since we saw the Unrated Director's cut, I'm guessing it deadens the impact quite significantly. Infuriated about this as me? Leave your thoughts in the comments. At least we can take heart that Netflix's customer base is still much larger than Blockbuster and the brick and mortar video store is quickly going the way of the dodo. It's unfortunate, but since the Mom and Pop shops died out years ago I think it's time for the whole damn thing to come down. Damn the man.

Finally today, X-Files 2 plot revealed! Abdcutions, mutilations, secret medical experiments and more. What more could you ask for?

In Real People News: 

If you live in London and smell a foul odor over the next few days, it's just the Dutch. Oh, and shit.

31 people were shot and 2 stabbed this weekend in Chicago. If we have readers there... are you still alive? Seriously though, that's got to be some sort of record... no?

There's only one rule in Baby Fight Club, and that's that when we're done everyone gets a nap... and a baba.

On this day in history: 

1847: Lewis Keseberg, the final member of the Donner Party still stranded in the mountains, is escorted to safety by a fourth rescue party. Later accounts hold that Keseberg was discovered "seated, like a ghoul, in the midst of dead bodies, with his face and hands smeared with blood, and a kettle of human flesh boiling over the fire."

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