Horror Headlines 5/15/08

There are lots of horror posters popping up at Cannes right now, including some for films that are still just theoretical at this point. Check out the future possibilities at the link.

Check the full synopsis for "The Wolfman" remake. It's just as long and fancy as you'd expect from a big budget Universal remake set during the 30's. The film stars Benicio Del Toro (as Wolfy), Anthony Hopkins, Hugo Weaving and Emily Blunt. It will be released on April 3rd, 2009, a little less than a year from now.

So, Horror-Movies.ca is claiming that John Carpenter's "In the Mouth of Madness" is being remade. That's pretty insane, especially considering that it only came out in 1995. So now, if this is true, we're remaking films that are barely 10 years old. There is zero info at the source except for that, so I'm not taking this seriously until we hear something concrete.

Favorite of all of us who came of age in the 90's, the "Goosebumps" book series by R.L. Stine has been acquired by Columbia Pictures to adapt for the big screen. As the youngest in our crew, I'm sure Mark is squealing with glee right now.

Apparently MonstersHD, the only real hi-def horror channel, is in some kind of legal wrangle with the DishNetwork, and that has caused the channel to go black for the immediate future. Anyone out there have it? This story popped up yesterday, so flip it on and let us know if you're seeing it.

Young Jason Voorhees has been cast in the "Friday the 13th remake. Congratulations on looking like a mongoloid kid, I'm sure you've got a bright future ahead of you.

In Real People News: 

Oooooh, I'm not sure what's more disgusting in this story, the necrophilia, or the fact that she was a 92 year old woman. 92? Nasty.

If you're going to do some kinky shit and have your lover carve stuff into your chest with a knife, you better make sure she's not drunk first. You can fill in the blanks for yourself.

In the no-shit section today, a growing number of communities across the USA are moving to stop sexual predators from becoming ice cream truck drivers. Um, shouldn't that be the first question on the application? And so ends the all deviant sex edition of "Real News" with BGH.

On this day in history: 

1991: Alan Cooper stands trial in England for "committing a lewd, obscene, and disgusting act on the 12-foot dolphin called Freddie as they frolicked for 20 minutes off the harbor mouth at Amble, Northumberland." Cooper responds by claiming that his accuser was a sworn enemy and had trained dolphins for a movie to jump out of the water and tear off a woman's bikini bra. He is eventually acquitted of masturbating the cetacean.

The art of Peat Wollaeger

It's official, I quit the internet. This video could only be more perfect for me if he was drinking Brooklyn Local One and playing GTA IV while he was doing these awesome stencils.

[REC] (REVIEW)

“[Rec]” has a fairly ingenious hook- the early stages of a zombie outbreak filmed in the suddenly hot found footage style of “The Blair Witch Project” that was recently reanimated by “Cloverfield”. The only problem with this ingenious hook is that “[Rec]” is the third film in two years to follow the same premise. It might have a hard time shaking the association with “The Zombie Diaries” and “Diary of the Dead” but “[Rec]” justifies its existence by using its chosen format well and having a handful of undeniably scary moments.

The Force in the Flesh

I'm an unabashed fan of many nerdy things, including "Star Wars". The thing is, there's always been a line I won't cross. Thankfully for us internet rubberneckers, there are plenty out there that will!

Hence the new book, The Force in the Flesh Star Wars Inspired Body Art by Shane Turgeon.

Horror Headlines 5/14/08

Rumor Mill: Paul Thomas Anderson is rumored to be interested in directing the upcoming adaptation of METAL GEAR SOLID, the popular stealth video game series. At this point it's based solely on a remark by one of the Japanese producers, so take it with a grain of salt. Anderson of course is currently a Hollywood darling after the success of last year's "There Will Be Blood".

Sweet new poster for "The Strangers", that makes it look more like an 80's slasher than ever. Masked killers will always make my day.

Wow, it turns out that there will be no remake of "The Gate", but an actual direct sequel called "The Gate: 20 Years Later". Being one of my guilty pleasures from my childhood, it's cool to see one of these reduxes actually being called a sequel. That said, it should be interesting to see how they update the story, considering in the film the gates of Hell are opened by playing a record backwards, and most kids today don't even know what those are. Hell, I'm 25 and I've probably used a record player twice. The film is being directed by Randall William Cook, who has won multiple Oscars for his effects work on "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Whoa, that's a weird twist.

Finally today, in news that will make Jon's morning, David Cronenberg is reportedly in the running to direct the remake of the Spanish film "Timecrimes". Nothing is set in stone yet, but this is certainly interesting.

In Real People News: 

As scary as it is, I still love these thieves who just want to cuddle with their victims before running off with their stuff. Hey, they could be doing a lot worse things.

Due to a flood of FOIA requests, UFO files in the UK from 1978 to 1987 will be slowly released over the next 4 years, starting today. Now, I don't want to be a total conspiracy theorist here, but if they did have evidence of alien visits, do you really think they would let it out? Just saying.

Spice girl Geri Halliwell rewrites the bible. Hey, it couldn't be any worse than the first time around, am I right?

On this day in history: 

1610: Fanatical monk François Ravaillac jumps aboard the coach of King Henry IV and stabs him twice through the open window. Then the French monarch bleeds to death before medical help can reach him.

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