Horror Headlines 5/22/08

Midnight Meat Train has had it's release date moved UP, from August 1st to July 11th of this year. That takes it out of contention with "Mummy 3" (does anyone really care about that? Really?) and puts it up against "Hellboy II" in it's second week.

The Weinstein's have picked up "Martyrs", a French film, at Cannes with plans for some type of release in the future. The story? Set in the 70's, picture what it would be like if the chick who survived the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" grew up with some major issues, and eventually is forced to confront and "exercise" her demons. Sounds pretty interesting to me. The film is released in France on June 18th, no word on when the Weinstein's will drop it on our shores.

Warner Bro's has launched the official site for "The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe", and it's just as exciting as one might think. Actually, it's just some corny flash, a little faux metal and the trailer. It is worth noting though that they're continuing the trend of Corey Feldman's head being WAY smaller than everyone else's. So if nothing else, it's worth it for that chuckle.

Stills from "Silent Hill: Homecoming", the first SH game to launch on the Next-Gen systems. Looks pretty sweet to me.

In Real People News: 

The good news from a recent survey on teens and sex is this, contrary to popular belief, teens aren't engaging in "serial oral sex" as a means to avoid losing their virginity. The bad news is that no matter what the reasons, your daughter is still a slut.

A critic of the Russian government protested the public speech of a Russian Chess legend this week by flying a remote control penis-helicopter onto the stage. You have to check out the video at the link, if only for the moment when the security guard goes all King Kong and swats the penis out of the air. Frigging priceless.

Want to see a photo of a javelin that went through a photographer's leg yesterday? Me neither, but I've already seen it so I'm bringing you down with me.

If you're living in Hong Kong you now have a new mystery meat to worry about, people. Eat up!

On this day in history: 

337: Emperor Constantine dies. Despite this, his embalmed corpse continues to act as head of state, receiving state dignitaries and daily reports from ministers as if nothing had changed. Constantine's macabre leadership continues through winter. A "Weekend at Bernies" joke seems appropriate here, but I can't find one suitable enough for the occasion, sorry.

The Orphanage (REVIEW)

The opening scene of “The Orphanage”shows a girl repeatedly knocking three times on a tree and then looking back over her shoulder. As she does this a few times we gradually see that this is part of game and when she has her back turned some other children are creeping up on her, only to freeze when she turns to look at them. It's an apt beginning for a story where looking for something only keeps the truth hidden, not to mention a clever set-up for an appropriately creepy call-back later in the film.

Teen Wolf Too (Or, How My Soul Died a Little Today)

You ever had one of those days when it seems like nothing is going right? When you're just feeling dejected, laying on the couch with the remote, doing your damdest to pass the time without incident? Well, today was turning out to be one of those days, when I stumbled upon "Teen Wolf Too" on TV.

Dick's Ubik Coming to the Big Screen

Variety reported yesterday that our brains may soon be melted by another Philip K. Dick story on the big screen. This time around, it's "Ubik," regarded by many as Dick's master work, getting the film treatment. The cinematic effort will be produced by Celluloid Dreams, and Dick's daughter will be intimately involved. Celluloid Dreams has been responsible for several recent critical successes including "Persepolis," "Son of Rambow," and this year's "Funny Games" reboot.

Horror Headlines 5/21/08

Jake Gyllenhaal has officially been cast as the star of the "Prince of Persia" adaptation. Mike Newell will be directing the Jerry Bruckheimer produced flick, that is being produced at Disney (?) Chalk that up as one rumor I NEVER thought was going to pan out. Guess it shows what I know.

Summit Entertainment, the same company behind "Twilight" (ugh), is gearing up to remake "Highlander". Um, okay? I think it's fair to ask if there might be a point somewhere in the future where we've actually remade EVERYTHING. That will presumably be the day they announce the "Howard the Duck" remake. I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of us.

Christian Bale has signed on for 3 "Terminator" films. That sort of gets me hopeful for this new trilogy, and then I remember that McG is directing. Sorry folks, there's no way these will turn out good. Just think "Charlie's Angels" plus robots... I'm assuming you just threw up in your mouth a little so I'll stop.

Check trailer for "Chemical Wedding", written by Iron Maiden front man Bruce Dickinson. The story is a "gothic sci-fi extravaganza set in Trinity College Cambridge, where a scientific experiment goes awry resulting in the resurrection of the Infamous Edwardian Occultist Aliester Crowley". Wow, that's a mouthful.

So, Producer Richard Rubinstein is working on a direct sequel to Romero's "Dawn of the Dead", and Tony Todd is in talks to star. Here's to convoluting this mythos even further. Can't we leave this dead horse alone, people?

Guillermo Del Toro is officially attached (in some way) to the adaptation of the book "Hater", about what happens when people start becoming suddenly and frighteningly violent. Eh, sounds like a few dozen other films that have come out lately. Del Toro will be in New Zealand for the next 4 years filming "The Hobbit", so it sounds like he'll be staying as involved as he can while directing that. After that he still has the H.P. Lovecraft adaptation "At the Mountains of Madness", that I guess we'll be seeing in oh... 2012? Oh... whoops.

In Real People News: 

Scientists have successfully brought a gene from an extinct species back to life, inside of a mouse. The species was the Tasmanian tiger, thought extinct since the 1930's. The head scientist theorizes that some day, with certain advances, this could be used to bring back almost anything, including Mammoths, Neanderthals or even Dinosaurs. I was so fascinated by this yesterday I spent 3 hours reading about extinct species on Wikipedia. Yes, I'm that nerdy.

So a teenager text messages his 34 year old co-worker and solicits a picture of her breasts, and she sends him a picture of Pamela Anderson's rack instead. The ruse apparently worked because they went on to have an affair together, but if you check out the picture at the link, I think you'll agree with me that he was possibly blind... or at least, color blind?

A Wisconsin teen is charged with a felony for posting nude pictures of a 16 year old girl on his Myspace. He had a chance to take them down after being threatened by authorities, and his response was "fuck that, [I'm] keeping them up". Wow, I don't know whether to be impressed by his balls or his stupidity. How about both?

On this day in history: 

1991: At an outdoor political rally, former Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi and 16 bystanders are blown to bits by a pregnant woman bearing a basket of flowers. The suicide bomber is believed to have been a member of a Hindu terrorist group called the Tamil Tigers.

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