Horror Headlines 8/1//08

It's being reported this morning that Paramount pictures is working on a revamped "Friday the 13th" DVD box set, to coincide with the release of the remake this February. Let's hope that they do their best to make this one not suck as much as the last one. Number 1 on my list would be using the actual original box art. After that? Maybe some decent special features besides that half assed documentary they made. Rant: over.

Yes, POV shot movies are definitely becoming cliche very fast. However, I had to report on this. The film is called "Hannah's Gift", and tells a slasher story through the eyes of a 6 year old girl Sounds pretty sweet to me.

Thanks to site blogger Christine, we've got the trailer for "Dance of the Dead". Besides the painful "prom preparation" scenes, this one actually looks like it could be a fun campy time. Some surprisingly great promotional quotes in there too, although I think I speak for all of us when I say we've been burned by those before.

Pics from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" remake, starring Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly. I would normally give you more info here, but every time I type Connelly's name I immediately lose my train of thought. What was I talking about again?

Despite news to the contrary, it seems Mike Doughterty's "Trick 'R Treat" is still being released by Warner Bro's, who had been rumored to have dumped the film a few months back. Still no release date, but I guess we can look at this as good news?

First thoughts from a test screening of "The Last House on the Left" remake, a film that I had almost forgot was going to exist. For a refresher, it's a remake of Wes Craven's 70's sickie and is starring the chick from "Superbad" who tells Michael Cera she's going to give him "the best blow j ever". Intrigued yet?

In Real People News: 

Almighty Supreme Being Allah arrested for cocaine possession. This story is sure to get a fatwa issued against me.

Nothing hits the spot quite like a mud cake. That's right folks, the schoolyard favorite of the slow kids has now made it's way to the third world. Most depressing story of the day? I think so.

This is an old story from Friday but, this is what happens when you try to have sex with a metal park bench. I guess he was just really excited about the Olympics?

On this day in history: 

1984: Not realizing that his weekly radio address is already on the air, President Ronald Reagan quips into his live microphone: "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

"Dance of the Dead"

I'm going to take a not so bold stance and say that this movie looks absolutely awful. You can quote me on that. It looks cliché, low brow and totally unoriginal. I still plan on seeing it. I love teen prom based cinema ie: "You Drive Me Crazy" and god awful zombie regurgitation ie: "Day of the Dead 2008".

Get your own god damn blog!

I will tell anyone who will listen that sites like my own, Cinema Suicide, Bloody Good Horror and Lost Highway are the next wave of genre movie reporting. Turns out that other people, including personalities around here, share this opinion. Usually I'm just high on my own sense of self-importance but when my own arrogance crosses over with the thoughts of other people, I tend to find some validity there. You can't see me right now, but I'm patting myself on the back.

Upcoming Horror Hodge Podge

For the first time in a good long while there are a few horror films on the way that may actually get me to the theater. I have avoided horror on the big screen for sometime because of a hex I can't seem to break. No matter how I map it out I seem destined to get stuck behind the full grown man with a middle school kid's brain. The one who just can't handle his anxiety without broadcast, you know him...

"Oh shit, dog!"
"Dog, I wasn't scared, dog!"
"Oh shit!"

The Valley Gets Uncanny-er

For those of you not all that familiar with the concept of the Uncanny Valley, it basically states that the more human-like that a non-human thing (usually an animation or a robot) appears, the more it freaks us out, until it becomes so realistic that we can virtually not tell the difference between the two. On one hand, you have something like the Real Doll (look it up, pervert) that from a distance can be mistaken for a human, save for the occasional hentai-esque humanoid.

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